“In my first draft of The Hobbit, Gandalf was a Stonecutter-but the publishers didn't feel comfortable with that. Mind you"
~ J.R.R. Tolkien on Stonecutting
The Stonecutters meet on Wednesday nights in a large headquarters, and their activities mostly involve drinking chlorophyll and playing Ping-Pong. Members are identified by number rather than name, assigned by the order in which they joined. At least 907 members had joined before Craftiegreen. There are only two ways to gain membership: Be the son of a Stonecutter or save the life of a Stonecutter.
The society has two stones, which are attached by a chain shackled around the wearers neck, then dragged. The Stone of Shame is used primarily for banishment; tradition dictates that the wearer be naked. The Stone of Triumph is the larger of the two, and is used for Coronation ceremonies.
The rewards are vast: They include reserved roads, better parking spaces, wonderful chairs, free soft drinks, and swift house repairs. Stonecutters are also told the real emergency services number - 912. The membership pack contains stickers to stop their cars being towed or their wallets stolen by paramedics. Also seen are a society t-shirt, robes, underwear, handbook and secret handshake. They are also rumored to have an algebraic secret base on the moon
Offical Song Edit
- Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do, we do!
- Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? We do, we do!
- Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Craftiegreen a star? We do, we do!
- Who robs cavefish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night? We do, we do, we do!